


Naruto and Sakura: The Prank Calling Team

by HinaSaku



Category: Naruto
Genre: Hanging Out, Humor, One-Sided Attraction, Out of Character, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-09-06 14:37:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8756458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HinaSaku/pseuds/HinaSaku
Summary: Sakura is bored one afternoon and so Naruto suggests she and him prank call people. Soon it turns into a thing.  One-sided NaruSaku.





	1. Shikamaru,  Ranpha, Gai

"I'm so freakin' bored…" Sakura groaned as she sat on her front porch. Suddenly Naruto was walking down the street when he spotted Sakura. He instantly zoomed over and greeted her.

"Hey Sakura-chan! What's up?"

"I'm bored…" she sighed. "I'm up for anything right now…"

"Really? How about…prank calls?" he said giggling as he rubbed together his hands.

"Sure. Why the heck not…" she stood up.

"Wait, what?" He looked surprised. He half expected Sakura to either punch him and tell him that he was a moron.

"I could do with a laugh. Let's do it at your place. My mom's home and I don't want her to hear."

"Sure! Let's go!" Naruto felt like today was his lucky day. Sakura was actually willing to prank someone with him! He felt the luckiest guy in the world right now. Once they got to his apartment, the blonde ninja made sure that his phone number was set to private.

"Who do you wanna call first?" asked Sakura.

"Hm…how about…Shikamaru?" said Naruto with a mischievous look in his eyes.

"What do you have in mind?"

"You'll see. Heehee…" Naruto made a couple of hand signs before turning into Choji. Sakura wondered what Naruto was doing looking like Choji, but decided to sit and listen. Naruto dialed Shikamaru's number.

"Hello?" It was Mrs. Nara.

"Can I speak to Shikamaru? It's really important."

"Oh sure!" The two teenagers could hear her calling her son in the background. A few moments later, he answered the phone.

"Hey Choji. What's up?"

"S-shikamaru…I…I have something to tell you…" Naruto said in a shy and nervous tone, making the pink haired ninja raise a brow.

"What? Is something wrong?"

"I…I…I…I love you."

Shikamaru went silent. Naruto waited a few more seconds and the ninja still didn't say anything. Sakura poked Naruto and asked if he had hung up. Naruto wasn't really sure so he said, "Shikamaru? Are you still there?"

"Y-yeah…I'm still here…"

"I'm sorry. I-I shouldn't have said anything…I'm so sorry, but I can't help it! I've been feeling this way for a very long time and I felt like I was about to burst! I love everything about you! I love the innocent little ways you touch me, the way you laze around, your lady legs, that monotone voice of your's and…and…THAT JUICY ASS!"

Sakura covered up her mouth to keep from laughing.

"That ass of yours is too good to resist! Dreamin' of that booty of yours really gets me goin'…all I wanna do is to man handle that booty all day long! Your booty is love! Your booty is life! I worship that booty of yours every night!" Naruto and Sakura giggled as they looked at each other, wishing they could see what Shikamaru's facial expression was. "I'd write poems about that booty if poetry wasn't lame...I hope you feel this way about me too. The love part, not the butt part. A-anyway...bye..."

After hanging up the phone and Naruto turned back into himself, both of them started laughing like manics. Suddenly Sakura got an idea. "Call him again. I've got an idea too!"

Sakura turned into Temari while Naruto called Shikamaru once more. Shikamaru had picked up the phone again. "H-hello?"

"Hey, Shikamaru."

"Oh, it's you...I mean what a drag..." Shikamaru sounded relieved. "Do you want something?"

"Yes. I just called to say that I'm in love with you."

"Huh!?"

"Yeah, I know it's a huge shock, but its true! I really really like you Shikamaru. How about we go out or something this weekend and give it a try."

"I…uh…I don't..."

"Look I gotta go…uh…"

"Shave my legs!" Naruto whispered into Sakura's ear.

"…Shave my legs!" Sakura hung up the phone.

"Who next?"

"How about someone we don't know? Let's call the BBQ place."

"Yes!" Naruto dialed their number.

"Hello! This is Ranpha! How may I help you?"

"I'm looking for my granddaughter and she said she was coming here. Could you find her and ask her to pick some milk up for me?" Naruto said in an old man voice.

"Sure sir. What's your granddaughter's name?"

"Uh…Maya Dick Hertz."

"Maya Dick Hertz…is that right?" she didn't sound suspicious at all about the name which made Sakura and Naruto laugh. "MAYA DICK-HERTZ! MAYA DICK-HERTZ! MAYA DICK-HERTZ! DOES ANYBODY KNOW ANY DICK-HERTZ? MAYA DICK HERTZ!"

The two teens were trying so hard not to laugh that their faces were turning bright red. On the phone, they heard laughter and heard the lady say, "What's so funny?"

Someone must have told her she was being pranked because she said, "Who is this?!"

Naruto quickly hung up the phone and laughed with his teammate. Sakura wiped a tear from her eye. "Man, that was funny, but I kinda feel bad for her."

"Yeah. I hope she doesn't lose her job."

"Yeah…let's call Kakashi!"

"You got something in mind?"

"Yep! I can't believe I'm saying this, but you might wanna use that sexy jutsu thing."

"REALLY?!" First wanting to prank call with him and now she wanted him to use his sexy no jutsu? This really was his luckiest day ever!

While Naruto turned into Naruko, Sakura called their sensei. Instead of getting Kakashi, they got Might Gai. "Hatake residence."

"It's Gai!"

"What's he doing there?"

"Don't know, but follow my lead." Sakura then began to speak in a valley girl accent. "Yeah, hello. This is, like, Ariel and Barbie, from, like, last night."

"Uh…last night?"

"Yeah! Geez! Is your memory, like, tots bad or something, Kashi?" said Naruko.

"Well this his friend Gai. Uh…I can leave a message for him."

"Well, like my friend said before, this is Ariel and Barbie. You know, the prostitutes from last night?" said the blonde ninja grinning.

"PROSTITUTES?!" then Gai mumbled. "How unyouthful and…degrading! Maybe they mean a different Kakashi!" he then said out loud. "What does this Kakashi look like?"

"Ugly spiky gray hair, masked face with one, like, eye out…"

"…small dick, no ass…" Naruko giggled.

"…listen, we've got, like, only a little time left so here's, like, our message…"

"We're pregnant again with his kids and he needs to babysit them the other kids we had by him tomorrow so we can go to the hospital to see the sex of the babies." finished the other ninja.

"WHAT?!"

Sakura hung up the phone. "Do you think he believed us?"

"It sounded that way." Sakura said smirking. "That was fun!"

"Yeah it was! Let's do it again tomorrow!" suggested Naruto.

"Why the hell not?" she smiled. "Well I've gotta go home now. It's almost time for dinner."

"I'll walk you home!" Naruto said following her.

As the two walked home, they saw Choji and Ino walking from the movies. Once they saw them, Ino waved at them. "Sakura! Naruto!"

"What's up?" asked Naruto trying to keep a straight face. Choji had reminded him of their prank call.

"Have you guys seen Shikamaru?"

"We were all supposed to go see a movie and he never showed up." explained Choji.

"Nope. Haven't seen him." Sakura said quickly as she noticed that Naruto was coughing violently into his hand.

"Oh. Well I guess we'll have to go see him then." Ino sighed.

"He's probably hiding from Choji." Sakura said after the two ninjas had walked away.

"Well he can't hide forever." Naruto gave Sakura a mischievous look. "You know, we could spy on them tomorrow and see how awkward it gets."

"We'll see. Night, Naruto!" Sakura went inside of her house while Naruto waved at her. After she had gone in, he celebrated. He had gone on a date with Sakura! Well it wasn't really a date, but it might as well have been! And tomorrow she would go on one with him too! This was the best day ever!


	2. Pakkun, Jiraiya, Shizune, Hiashi

"You ready, Sakura-chan?" Naruto giggled.

"Yes! Now who are we gonna call today?" she smirked.

"Let's call Kakashi again. He wasn't home last time." said Naruto as he turned into Naruko.

"Yeah, but I still can't help but to wonder why Gai was at his house. Kakashi's place doesn't necessarily doesn't need to be protected, does it?"

"Not really. He has ninja dogs for that. SH! Someone's answering…"

"Hello?"

"Oh shoot, it's just Pakkun."

"HELLO?!" Pakkun spoke a little louder.

"U-Uh...it's like Barbie."

"Barbie? Like the doll?"

"Yeah! Totally!" said Naruto. "Oh yeah and Ariel too!"

"Uh…okay…are you looking for Hatake Kakashi?"

"Totally!" said Sakura.

"He's not here right now, but I'll take a message."

"Well tell him we said it's a **girl** and a **boy**." The blonde ninja said trying not to laugh.

Pakkun was quiet for a few minutes before he said, "What?"

Sakura repeated what Naruto said. The dog didn't say anything for one minute. "Uh…heeelloooo?"

"What kind of dogs are they?"

"We're talking about _babies_ , dummy!"

" **BABIES**?! WHAT THE… ** _ARE THEY HIS_**?!" once Naruto confirmed this, Pakkun screamed like an ape, scaring the two ninjas and it sounded like he fell off of something, because there was a thump and a loud crash.

"Oh no…did we kill him!?" Sakura panicked a little. Kakashi must have had the phone placed up somewhere high up from the floor and so Pakkun, being so small, had to climb up somewhere to get up to it.

"P-Pakkun?" Naruto said scared. Kakashi was going to kill him if the small dog had been injured or worse…killed. "PAKKUN!"

"WHEN ARE THEY COMING!? WHEN?! _WHEN_?!" Pakkun screamed from somewhere below.

"Arf! Arf! Woof woof!" Sakura and Naruto heard some dogs barking from somewhere in the room.

"GET AWAY FROM ME! DON'T YOU SEE ME ON THE…OW! OW! MY…LEG! GET OFF ME! PUT ME DOWN, DANG IT!"

Naruto quickly hung up the phone. "Well that went bad."

"We should go check up on him." The pink haired teen said feeling bad for pranking the dog and causing his injury.

"From the sounds of it, Kakashi's other dogs must have dragged him away to Kiba's house."

"How do you know?"

"Because Kiba told me whenever a dog gets hurt or sick they go to Kiba's mom or sister."

"Oh…well let's go there really quick and apologize."

"APOLOGIZE?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT KAKASHI WILL DO TO US IF HE FOUND OUT ABOUT OUR PRANK CALL?! SOMETHING NASTY! HE'LL _PROBABLY_ MAKE US SHAVE HIS BACK OR SOMETHING!"

Although that was highly unlikely Kakashi would do that, she was afraid of what that he would connect the _first_ call to the one they made and tell **Tsunade**. She nodded. "Well, let's just go there anyway, but we'll pretend like we're there to see Kiba."

Naruto really wanted to prank call some more people, but in order to avoid Sakura leaving and not wanting to hang out with him ever again, went along with her. Once they had gotten to Kiba's house, sure enough Kiba's sister, Hana, was patching up the small dog that was making quite a fuss.

"Hold still!" She sighed as the dog wiggled around and tried to bite her. "I can't help you if…"

"I DON'T WAN T YOUR STINKIN' HELP! I HAVE TO PROTECT MY STUFF FROM THOSE LITTLE…OWWW!" Pakkun turned and bit her.

"OW!" She pinched his nose. When she looked up she saw Sakura and Naruto walking up. "Oh hello. You must be Kiba's friends. He's in his room."

"Okay thanks…" she looked down at the dog who was still biting the older woman's arm. "Uh…is he okay?"

"No." she sighed still holding his nose. "He apparently hurt his hind leg and arm when he heard that Kakashi was the father of a boy and a girl. Is that true?"

"No way! What makes you ask that?! Ahahahahahaha!" Naruto laughed like a manic.

"Well Pakkun said…" Suddenly she screamed. He was now drawing blood and his teeth were a little deeper in her skin. "OOOOOOOOOW! MOM! KIBA! GET ME A FREAKIN' SEDATIVE OR SOMETHING!"

"Pakkun, don't be mad at Kiba's sister!"

"Yeah! She's not the one bringing home babies!"

"Must…get home!" Pakkun had finally let go and was trying to crawl home, only to feel nothing but pain as he tried crawling away.

"P-pakkun-kun! Let us help you back home!" she elbowed Naruto and whispered. "Right, Naruto?!"

"What? Oh right!" he tried to carefully pick up the dog only for the dog to bite him. "OW! H-HE BIT ME!"

Sakura quickly caught the dog. "Poor thing. Give me your jacket, Naruto."

"FINE." He handed over his jacket and his team mate wrapped the growling dog inside of it. Kiba came out and gave his sister a sedative. After the dog fell asleep, she quickly worked on his injuries.

"'Sup Naruto. You here for Pakkun?" Kiba said as they walked away from where Hana was working on Pakkun.

"Uh…"

"Y-yeah!" Sakura interrupted Naruto. "K-kakashi's other dogs lead us up here, right Naruto!?"

"Yeah! They did! We just came to take him home!"

"That's good." He looked down at his watch. "Crap! I'm gonna be late. See ya later, Naruto! You too Sakura!"

Kiba took off while Naruto and Sakura went back over to Hana. She had finished his bandages and gave him to Sakura. "He should wake up in a few hours. Poor thing…could you take him to Kakashi, please? I would but I've got another sick dog to attend to."

"Yeah, sure." she grabbed the tiny dog. As soon as they left the yard, Sakura sighed. "Why did he have to fall?"

"Who knew he would react so badly?" said Naruto shaking his head.

"We have to…"

"NO! IF WE TELL HIM HE'LL TELL KAKASHI AND HE'LL…"

"Make us shave his back…yeah I know! We'll just have to be extra careful from now on. I'll just leave him with my parents. Dad loves dogs and mom is out of town this weekend, so he'll be okay."

"You mean you still wanna…"

"Of course, but we have to be **_extremely careful_** from now on…"

They walked in silence for a while until Sakura stopped suddenly. Naruto looked back at her confused. "What Sakura? Is something wrong?"

"There's Shikamaru!"

"Where?" She grabbed his collar, pulled him into an alley, and pointed. Shikamaru was awkwardly staning with Choji, Ino, and Asuma, who were all talking except him. He looked uncomfortable and a bit worried. The two ninjas looked at each other and grinned. "Wanna go check it out?"

She nodded, smirking. After quickly dropping off Pakkun to Sakura's house and grabbing something to disguise themselves with (aka Sakura wearing her mother's clothes make up and a white sun hat while Naruto wore something of Sakura's father, a fake mustache, and a pink sunhat, and a scarf), the two quickly caught up with the team, but stayed out of site. A few minutes later, they went inside of the movie theater and of course Naruto and Sakura followed behind them. Shikamaru snuck inside of the movie as the others grabbed some snacks. Sakura snuck behind him, so she could get a perfect, front row seat to the drama that may or may not go down. A few minutes later, Team Asuma came along and sat down and Naruto was right on their tails with popcorn and drinks. Neither looked much at the movie, but they were intensely studying the people in front of them. Shikamaru was sitting awkwardly at the end of the row beside his best friend and playing with his hands. Choji, oblivious to his friend's uncomfortness, was happily watching the movie.

15 minutes later, Shikamaru touched Choji's hand which was resting on the chair's arm rest. He moved his hand for a minute to eat some popcorn, but placed it back absentmindedly. Shikamaru was sweating buckets. "Is he gonna make a move?" Naruto whispered as low as he could to Sakura.

"I don't know, but it sure looks like it." she whispered back.

16 minutes later, Shikamaru looked down and placed his hand back on top of Choji's hand and squeezed it just as a jump scare appeared in the movie, but Sakura and Naruto knew he wasn't doing it because of the tiny scare on the screen. Both of them were thinking the same thing. Did he _like_ **_like_** Choji? It seemed so. The larger teen didn't seem to either mind or didn't notice his friend's hand as he neither looked at his friend nor moved his own hand.

Shikamaru sighed and said in a tiny voice, "Choji?"

"Huh?"

"I…I…uh…I really…uh…like being here with you…"

"Uh huh…that's cool." Choji ate some more popcorn.

"I…I gotta tell you something…"

"Hm?"

"I…I…" here Sakura and Naruto leaned a little closer. "I…I have to use the bathroom…"

"What?" He looked at him as if he were crazy while Sakura and Naruto nearly fell over. "Go then. I'll tell you what you missed."

He nodded and awkwardly left. Sakura and Naruto sighed. After he left, Sakura poked her teammate. "Follow him!"

"On it!" The blonde ninja quickly took after him. Instead of leaving the theater and rethinking things over, he went to the bathroom. Naruto managed to sneak inside a stall, listening to the ninja ramble to himself.

"Come on, Nara! You **have** to tell him…be a man!" he mumbled to himself as he washed his hands. "You can do this! It's not that hard. He told you and now you tell him! You are not shy and have never been shy! YOU CAN DO IT!"

Shikamaru looked a little more confident in himself and literally ran out of the bathroom. Naruto quickly followed behind and sat back down next to Sakura. "He's gonna do it!"

"Well he looks it."

Fortunately, he did do it, but in a completely different way. He kissed Choji on the mouth, causing said ninja to jump and look at his best friend as if he were crazy. "WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?"

"You _wanted_ it didn't you?" the teenager said looking quite sure of himself as he poked out his chest in a manly way. Choji, however, glared at him angrily.

"NO! What the heck made you think that, moron?!" Choji fumed at his best (and maybe now former) best friend.

"You called me and said…" Shikamaru then told him everything Choji had said to him over the phone and when I say everything, I mean everything! Choji just sat there looking disgusted while Ino and Asuma were looking uncomfortable. How was it even possible to admire someone's butt when they had none?

"Uh…Choji was on a mission with me yesterday…" said Asuma.

"W-what?!" instead of looking confident, he looked like a trapped rat that was blushing bright red. "Are you sure?"

Asuma nodded. Shikamaru had never looked so embarrassed in his life. "I-I…b-but you…it sounded j-just like…" he stammered. The look on his face was absolutely priceless. Naruto and Sakura giggled, not even bothering to hide it. Shikamaru turned around, looking furious.

"Shut the fuck up! It's not funny! DOES THIS HILARIOUS TO YOU CLOWNS!?" He yelled at the two ninjas making everyone look at them. "By the way, you two fuckers better stop following me the fuck around. ESPECIALLY YOU!" Here he pointed at Naruto.

The two panicked, thinking he knew who they were, but luckily he didn't. "I don't know who the fuck you are, but leave me the hell ALONE!" He stood up and left. Asuma apologized to the ninjas and quickly went after Shikamaru. Ino looked at Choji, looked as if she was about to say something, but then closed her mouth and continued to watch the movie with him. Meanwhile, Sakura and Naruto, obviously not giving a shit about what he said, followed behind.

"Shikamaru! Wait!"

"NO!"

"Why won't you…"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" He ran into the girls bathroom. Asuma sighed and went back to the movie. What did you expect? He wasn't gonna waltz in there like a pervert.

"Think we should go inside?"

Sakura shook her head. "He'll probably rip off our disguises if we go after him. Come on before we get caught."

Naruto nodded and the two left the theater.

-_-o_o-_-

"Who do you wanna call now?" asked Sakura as they sat down on the floor and peeled off their disguises (they had their disguises over their regular clothes).

"How about Jiraiya?"

"Hm…he won't fall over and break his hip, will he?" the pink haired ninja asked nervously.

"He's tough…but then again…he is really old…we'll take it easy on him." he said as he dialed his godfather's number.

"YO! Jiraiya speaking!"

"Mr. Jiraiya? Yes, uh…we have these 10 playgirl magazines you ordered." said Naruto pinching his nose.

"P-play what?"

"Playgirl! I need you to tell me your address so I can send your magazines."

"But I didn't order any…"

"Listen sir, we have your name and phone number on this list as well as your godson's address from the last time you ordered a playgirl magazine from us. We can just send it to you there."

"NO! I DIDN'T EVEN…"

"Good bye!" Naruto quickly hung up the phone. "Who next?"

"Shizune at Tsunade's office!"

"A-are you sure, Sakura-chan?"

"Yeah! Tsunade never answers her office phone. Besides, I think she's off gambling now anyway." He nodded and dialed it.

"Hello!" Shizune said cheerfully.

"Hello there! I'm callin' to confirm your playboy magazine." said Sakura in a country accent.

"My what?"

"Playboy." Shizune was very quiet, obviously meaning she didn't know what Playboy was. After Sakura gave a brief summary of what it was, Shizune blushed (of course they didn't see her doing that).

"I-I ordered no s-such t-thing!" she stammered.

"You sure? We have here a Tsunade of the Leaf Village on the list here…" she said sounding confused. "Ain't you, Tsunade?"

"N-no! That's my boss!"

"Oh dear! My mistake! Tell her I'll call back tomorrow, suga! Have a nice day now!"

"You…too…" Sakura hung up the phone. "You think she'll tell Tsunade?"

"Doubt it." Naruto laughed. "Work'll be interesting tomorrow for her for sure! Let's prank Neji!"

Sakura nodded and handed Naruto the phone. When someone answered the phone, it wasn't Neji. It was his uncle, Hiashi.

"Quick! Pretend you're in labor!" Naruto hissed as he gave Sakura the phone.

"Oh!" she cleared her throat. "H-hello…*gasp* Oh kami-sama! W-where's N-neji?! Oh kami-sama!"

"He's…out…" Hiashi sounded confused. "Are you al…"

"GAH!" Sakura gasped. "Oh kami-sama! It hurts!"

"Come on! Push! Push!" Naruto said trying not to laugh and sound serious.

"I-it h-hurts!" she whimpered, falsely sobbing.

"Uh…is everything alright?" asked the head Hyuuga confused and concerned.

While Sakura was pretending to be in labor, Naruto yelled urgently into the phone. She's trying to say…" here Naruto spoke to Sakura. "Just a little more dear…" then he spoke back to Hiashi. "…she's having a baby!"

"Baby? What baby?"

"Didn't your son tell you? He's a father…well he's about to be one anyway…just a little more dear…"

"WHAT?!" Hiashi yelled.

"Listen gotta go now! Come on, you're almost there!"

Sakura let out a dramatic scream into the phone for affect before Naruto hung up the phone.

"Wow! That was good!" Naruto commented on Sakura's acting skills. "If I didn't know you were acting, I would have really thought you were in labor!"

"Thanks!" she blushed rubbing the back of her head. "You weren't too bad either!"

Naruto blushed too. Sakura looked at the clock. "Oh crap! I've gotta get home for dinner! I'll see you later, Naruto! Same time tomorrow?"

"Yeah!"

She smiled and headed out the door. The blonde ninja pumped his fist. Another successful "date" with Sakura! Sure Pakkun had got accidentally hurt, but other than that, everything went great. He couldn't wait to spend more time with her tomorrow.


	3. Hinata, Inoichi, Sai

"YOU READY FOR ANOTHER DAY OF PRAAAAAAANKIIIIIING?!" yelled Naruto at Sakura who was in the middle of cleaning off a scalpel and jumped in surprised.

"NARUTO, YOU FOOL!" She hit him on the head. "You scared the hell outta me!"

"S-sorry, Sakura-chan." Naruto said rubbing his head. "I'm just so pumped for our da…I mean our pranking session."

"Well you could have waited!" she growled, but she wasn't as mad as she was before. She too was looking forward to prank calling once more. Once the teenagers finished washing off the surgical tools, the two made like a banana and split to go to Naruto's house.

Once there, Sakura dialed Ino's number giggling as she did so. As she guessed Inoichi answered the phone as Sakura remembered that Ino's mother was going out of town to visit her sick aunt while Ino herself was working with Shizune today. "Hello?"

"Ah-hem…yeah this is Kiba. Tell that bitch Ino that I'm done with her!" Sakura said perfectly imitating Kiba's voice, which Naruto found impressive.

"Excuse me?" Inoichi said not sure he heard "Kiba" right. He was not going to let anyone sit there and call his kid a bitch.

"You heard me! That baby _ain't_ mine!" Sakura said angrily. "That _whore_ left a pregnancy test in my trash can and it was fucking positive!"

"P-positive?!" Inoichi squeaked after a couple of seconds.

"Yeah and I _never_ fucked her!" Naruto giggled as Inoichi started making some extremely funny sounds as he tried to say 10 different things at once. "Listen I gotta go. See ya."

Sakura and Naruto burst out laughing after she hung up the phone. After they got a hold of themselves, Naruto started dialing the phone. "I'm gonna call Lee!"

The phone rang for a few minutes until someone answered the phone. "Hello?"

Naruto's eyes widened as he turned to Sakura. Covering up the bottom of the phone, he whispered, "What the hell is Hinata doing at Lee's house?"

Sakura shrugged. "I don't know, but hurry up before she hangs up!"

"Okay, okay!" he cleared his throat and said in a high pitched voice. "Heeeey! Is Leeee-chaaaan home?"

"Oh no…he stepped out." said the lavender eyed ninja. "Do you want to leave a message?"

"Yeeeah! Tell Lee-chan I had a great time last night." Naruto said seductively.

Hinata was quiet for a minute. "E-excuse me?"

"Tell him I never knew he had such moves in the bed." Naruto giggled. "Maybe he could show me again sometime. Tee hee hee!"

"U-uh…s-sure…I-I'll tell him…" Hinata hung up the phone.

"I wonder what if she believed that?" Sakura said tapping her chin.

"Well everyone's believed everything else we've said…" Naruto looked thoughtful. "Hm…let's go see if those prank calls from yesterday worked!"

"Yeah! I'm kind of curious too!"

The two jumped up off the floor, grabbed some disguises, placed them in a backpack, and headed outside in search of their prank call victims.

* * *

The first was Jiraiya who was flirting with some woman only to get kicked in the nuts. As she walked away with her nose in the air, the two approached him. "Hey, Pervy Sage!"

"Don't call me that, Naruto." He said ticked off at the fact that he messed up his one chance to get laid. "Any who…what the hell do you want?"

"We were wondering if you wanted to tell me anything…you know…if you have a cold, needed a massage, some comfort…and maybe…some…entertainment?" Naruto raised a brow.

"What kind of entertainment?" he too raised a brow at the young man who started to smirk.

"Oh I don't know…liiiike…A MAGAZINE!" Jiraiya nearly fell over.

"IT'S NOT MINE, I SWEAR!" He yelled. "I'M NOT GAY, DAMMIT! NOW GIMME THAT GAY MAGAZINE!"

Everyone looked at the ninja. Now if you were to hear someone say that they weren't gay, but asked for a gay magazine, you'd probably think he was indeed gay. Indeed, someone did shout out, "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

"OMG Jiraiya's gay!" someone said.

"I have to tell Barbara!"

"Oh my goodness, I always thought he was straight."

"Maybe he only flirts with futanari people!"

"He's gay!"

"I can't believe this!"

"Damn it, Naruto! Now everyone thinks I'm gay!" the man growled at the ninja.

" _ **You're** _ the one who said give me the gay magazine." pointed out Sakura making a good point.

"Shut up and just give me the damn magazine, you bozos!"

"Nope!" Naruto grabbed Sakura's arm and the two ran off.

"NAAAAAAAAAARUUUUUUUUTOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Next the two went to the hokage's building where Shizune probably was. Stepping inside, they saw Tsunade. Naruto greeted her. "Hey grandma 'Nade!"

"Hm? Oh hey Naruto…Sakura." Tsunade sighed. "Have you two seen Shizune? She's been avoiding me all day for some reason."

"I couldn't imagine why." Sakura said shrugging while Naruto giggled. She frowned and nudged him.

"Well if you see her, tell her I need those files I asked her to make copies of." Tsunade shook her head as she went back to work.

"Will do! Come on, Sakura-chan!" Naruto left out of the office with Sakura.

"I can't believe she fell for it!" Sakura said as soon as they left the office.

"Me either!" the ninja laughed. "How long do you think she'll be able to avoid Tsunade?"

"Not very long." said the pink haired ninja. "She has to come out sooner or later, especially since she's Tsunade-sama's assistant."

* * *

The next stop was Lee's house. When the two got there, the door was slightly open. Before Naruto could open up the door, Hinata burst out of the house sobbing. "I don't want to see you ever again!"

"Hinata-chan wait! I never…" Lee tried to grab her, but she used her Gentle Fist technique on him before running off crying. He sighed, but then noticed Naruto and Sakura. "Uh…h-hey there Naruto and Sakura!"

"Um…what's going on, Lee?" Sakura said looking in the direction where Hinata had ran off.

"Hinata-chan got a…phone call from someone telling her lies." He sighed.

"Are you and Hinata…dating?" When he nodded, the two ninjas looked shocked.

"What?! R-really?" Sakura looked shocked still. 'I thought he liked me!'

"Yeah. We've been going out for a while…now she's mad at me." he looked heartbroken.

"Then why didn't you just explain that someone was probably pulling a prank on you?" asked Sakura.

"I did…but then she found some panties."

"PANTIES!?" They both said at the same time. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING WITH PANTIES!?"

"Well…t-to be honest…" He blushed. "I like wearing them sometimes. They're so comfortable!"

Naruto was about to say they were, but declined from saying anything about it. Sakura would probably beat the crap out of him for being a pervert. However Sakura spoke up. "Then why didn't you tell her?"

"Are you kidding me?! SHE'D SAY I WAS WEIRD!"

"Well you kind of are, bushy brows." said Naruto. "Besides, is keeping your secret worth losing your woman?"

"I-I guess not…okay. I'll tell Hinata-chan…m-maybe she won't laugh." Lee sighed and took off towards where his girlfriend had run off.

"Man, we really screwed up didn't we?" Naruto sighed.

"We?" Sakura frowned.

"Okay, okay…I messed up." he sighed. "Damn, if I knew Hinata and Bushy Brows were dating, I wouldn't have said what I did."

"Got that right." Sakura nodded. "Hmmm…I just thought of something."

"What Sakura-chan?"

"Do you think Neji knows?"

"Neji? Oh my gosh, he probably doesn't!" Naruto laughed. "He'd flip if he knew!"

"Yeah, he would. We should keep Lee's secret."

"Yeah. Neji might take his anger out on us."

"No, not that. I mean the thing about the panties!"

"Damn it. I really wanted to tell Choji and Kiba…KIBA!" Naruto dashed off. His teammate stared in the direction from where the blonde ninja had run. A few seconds later, he came back and grabbed her arm before running off again.

"Where are we going!?" she asked.

"Ino's house!"

Once they arrived at the residence, Inoichi was yelling at his daughter. **"…AND JUST WHO WERE THE BOXERS FROM THEN, HM!?"**

"I told you I accidently grabbed one of my teammates underwear on a mission and forgot to ask them whose it was when I left home today!"

 **"LIKELY STORY, INO!"** He yelled. **"YOU'RE GROUNDED AND WE'LL SEE WHAT YOUR MOTHER HAS TO SAY ABOUT THIS WHEN SHE COMES BACK!"**

"This is so unfair!" she stamped her foot and went down the stairs of the house.

 **"DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME, YOUNG LADY!"** He came after her.

"LALALALALA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Ino shouted.

"We'd better go…" Sakura and Naruto turned to leave when Ino called out to them.

"Sakura! Naruto! Wait! Come here!" Ino ran over. "Tell him that I don't sleep around and I'm still a virgin."

 **"BOYS CAN BE LET IN AT NIGHT IF YOU LET THEM!"** Her father yelled. **"NOW GET BACK INSIDE!"**

"NO!" Ino ran off.

 **"GET BACK HERE, YOUNG LADY! I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU!"** He took off after her. **"WE'RE GETTING YOU TESTED!"**

"I'M NOT PREGNANT!"

**"I'M TALKING ABOUT STDS!"**

* * *

The two disappeared from site leaving the two ninjas behind. "Well that could have gone better."

"I suppose so…" Sakura sighed. "But it was kind of funny."

"Damn straight." Naruto grinned. "Wanna go check in on Neji?"

"He's off on a mission. We can check him out when he comes back." Sakura looked at the sky. "It's still early. We can still make more calls if you want."

"You don't even have to ask! Come on. I wanna prank Gaara now!"

Once they got back, Naruto quickly dialed Gaara's number. On the line, Gaara answered. "Hello?"

"C-can I s-speak to the k-kazekage?" Naruto said mimicking an old woman's voice.

"This is he…"

"Oh Mr. Kazekage. I'll make this really quick…A-are you listening?"

"I'm listening."

"Okay then well…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Naruto screamed as loudly as he could. "AAAAAAAAAH! AAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAH! GAAAAH! HAAAAAAGAAAAH!"

Naruto and Sakura started giggling while Gaara said, "Who is this?!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Sakura.

"ANSWER ME!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Naruto said between giggles.

The two started laughing like crazy while the red head got extremely annoyed. "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?!"

"Is something wrong Gaara?" said a voice that belonged to Temari.

"Someone's…"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Naruto screamed, but then broke into giggles.

"Give it here!" Kankuro grabbed the phone.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH! I'M GONNA KILL THE EYEBROW LESS!" The blonde ninja giggled.

"Eyebrow less?" Kankuro glance toward his brother. "Listen, here asshole!"

"NO YOU LISTEN HERE!" yelled Sakura this time. "YOUR BROTHER HAS NO…AAAAH! EYEBROWS!"

"PLUS HE'S GONNA HAVE AAAAAH EVEN BIGGER BLACK EYES IF I SEE AAAAAH HIM!"

"DON'T YOU TALK…" Temari started to yell, but Naruto hung up the phone.

"I wish I could have seen the look on his face." the blonde ninja giggled.

"One more?"

Naruto nodded. "Who next?"

"Sai! Let's pretend we're art critics and trick into thinking he's won something!" Sakura smirked.

"OOOOOH! YEAH!" He smirked too as Sakura tapped her chin.

"Now what's his number…I remember now." she dialed his number.

"Hello, this is Sai."

"Hello, Mr. Sai. Some of your friends have sent have some of your beautiful works to our museum's art contest and we loved them! They were the best ones there…actually the only ones there besides some Uzumaki kid's." said Sakura in a french accent. "Any way, they were marvelous drawings and the best we've ever seen! Better than Leonardo De Vinci!"

"We wanted to ask you if you wanted to become an exclusive artist here at the Mori Museum of Art!" Naruto said in his French accent. "We will pay you too. How does $12,568 per month sound to you?"

"W-WHAT?!" Sai sounded like he was going to have a stroke.

"However if you don't want to, perhaps we could ask Mr. Uzumaki…"

"NO! NO! I WILL NOT LET HIS HORRIBLE DRAWINGS ON DISPLAY! I'LL DO IT!" Sai yelled. He then cleared his throat. "I mean of course I will do it. When do I start?"

"When should he start?" Sakura whispered to her teammate.

"Hmm…a week from now and tell a place where its far away and we won't see in for a while." he whispered back.

"3 weeks from now in the snow country."

"Really? Did you relocate?"

"Yes, we did." said Naruto. "We're bringing the beauty of art to…how do you say…the little people?" said Naruto hoping Sai would believe it.

"Okay then, but it may take me a while to get there." confessed Sai.

"We can wait." said Sakura.

"Okay then. I'll see you there." Before they could hang up, he spoke up. "Wait, who sent them?"

"I think you know…" Sakura said before hanging up the phone. Once she had, they laughed again.

"He actually fell for it! He's such a dumb ass!"

"That's what he gets for saying stupid stuff about us and our friends, shannaro!" said Sakura smirking.

"How do you think he'll do when he finds out it was all a prank?" asked Naruto curious.

"Hm…I don't know. I've never seen him angry before." Sakura was curious too. "Oh well. There's no way he'll know it was us if he did find out."

"Yeah, plus it'll get rid of him for a while, won't it?"

"Yeah. It won't take him long to come back though. He can use a bird drawing to take him there and back."

"I guess so." Naruto yawned. "Man, it's dinner time. You'd better get going, Sakura-chan."

"Oh crap right." Once she had put back on her shoes and was heading out the door, she waved at Naruto. "Same time tomorrow?"

"Yep!"

"See you tomorrow, Naruto."

"See ya, Sakura-chan!" As she ran off towards home, Naruto went back inside and began cooking himself some ramen. Today was another successful day, with an exception with them accidently ruining Hinata and Lee's relationship. 'I hope they made up. It might be a while before Bushy Brow finds someone would could stand someone with bushy eyebrows.'


	4. Anko, Dango Shop, Ino, Yamato

 

"Sakura, wake up." Mebuki said shaking her daughter a little.

"Mom, its 5 'O clock in the morning!" complained the pink haired ninja said covering her head.

"I know, but it's one of your teammates, Sai." Sakura uncovered her head. "He says he's leaving for good."

"Oh! Tell him I'll be right down!" Sakura said getting out of her bed. Her mother nodded and left and Sakura quickly looked for her robe, put it, and went downstairs. Her mother was talking to Sai on the couch.

"…and you're sure about this?" Mebuki said looking concerned.

"Oh very much so, Mrs. Haruno." Sai said cheerfully. "It's always been my dream to be a paid artist. Drawing is my life and passion and I've been waiting for an opportunity like this for a long time!"

"That's nice, but have you thought long and hard about it?" she asked.

"Yes and I want to go." Sai saw Sakura. "Oh, hello Sakura. I'm sorry I woke you up so early, but I must depart from Konoha."

"Why is that?" Sakura asked pretending that she had no clue what was coming up next.

"I'm leaving tomorrow for a career in art like I've always dreamt of doing my entire life." said Sai grinning. "I've got something for you. I know it's not much but…"

He gave Sakura a beautifully crafted gift basket and she immediately felt bad. "Oh Sai, it's so nice! Thank you!"

'Oh great now I feel bad!' She sighed, inwardly debating on whether or not to tell him.

"Well this is it." Sai hugged Sai. "Good bye, Sakura. Have a good life."

Sai bowed to Mebuki and left leaving Sakura looking sad. Her mother placed an arm around her daughter. "Don't be sad, Saku. He'll still write, call, and when he's not busy, he'll visit sometimes. Keep your head up, sweety."

Sakura bit her lip as her mother went back to her bedroom. She shook her head and went upstairs and called Naruto who immediately answered. "Sakura-chan, did Sai…"

"Yeah. Did he…"

"Yep. Did he give you a…"

"…gift basket? Yeah." Sakura shook her head. "I feel bad now." She looked outside and saw Sai helping an old lady with her bags. "He's still outside. I'm gonna talk to him and tell him."

"You might wanna look at your basket before you do, Sakura-chan." said Naruto. She was confused for a minute, but decided to look inside her basket and took out some cream and saw why Naruto told her to look in the basket first. She read some of them out.

(CREAM) Here's some cream to shrink that massive forehead of yours.

(Facial cream) Here's some cream for your upper lip. You're going to end up like a hairy ape woman like Ino, except her legs always get extremely hairy and not her lip.

(Shampoo) Get some anger management lessons.

(box of chocolates) Please stop talking about Sasuke all the time. He's a loser and Naruto is too. I'm tired of him saying he wants to be he hokage all the time. He's way too stupid to run a country.

"SHANNARO!" Sakura chucked a frying pan out of her (open) window at Sai who was heading past Sakura's window.

"Sakura, watch where you're…"

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YA JERK, CHA!" Sakura yelled at him. "I OUTTA FUCKING KILL YOU! HAIRY APE WOMAN!? MASSIVE FOREHEAD!? ANGER MANAGEMENT?! SASUKE AND NARUTO ARE LOSERS?! I HOPE SOMEONE MURDERS YOU WHILE YOU'RE GONE, YOU FUCKER! GO THERE AND NEVER COME BACK! IF I EVER SEE YOU BACK IN KONOHA AGAIN, NOT EVEN THE HOKAGE, KAKASHI, NARUTO, AND THE WHOLE ANBU FORCE WILL BE ABLE TO HOLD ME BACK, GOT THAT!?"

Sai gave her the finger and ran away, giggling as he did so. He had always wanted to do that. "YOU BAS…"

Before she could jump out her window, run after him, and break every single bone in his body, her mother pulled her back in and glared at her. "SAKURA HARUNO!"

'Oh crap!' Sakura thought with a look of fear on her face. When her mother was really, really, REALLY mad, it was scarier than when Tsunade could ever be. "Mom, I…"

"Lucky for you, I'm too tired to do anything." Mebuki growled. "However, if you ever do that again, there will be trouble…GOT IT?!"

"Y-yes, m-mom!" Sakura said shaking in fear.

"Good." She left out of her daughter's room, slamming the door behind her.

"You still there, Sakura-chan?" said Naruto.

"Yeah, I'm still here." said Sakura placing the phone back up to her ear. "What'd he say to you?"

"Mostly things about…you know…private stuff…"

"Of course." the pink haired teen shook her head, knowing full well that he had written about Naruto's penis for some reason. "You know what? Fuck him!"

"Damn right!" Naruto nodded on the other side of the phone. "I'm glad he's gone, the asshole."

"I know!" she looked at her clock. "Hey, you wanna get a start on our prank phone calls? I mean we're wide awake…"

"Hell yeah, you know it, Sakura-chan!"

"Okay. I'll be over in 30 minutes." she hung up her phone and went to take a shower.

"Okay, so who do we wanna start on?" Naruto asked Sakura as she settled down on the floor.

"Anko!" Sakura giggled. "Do you know her number?"

Naruto nodded and dialed her number. Sakura took the phone as it started ringing. "Hello, Anko here."

"Heeeeeeeeeellooooo, Miiiiiiitaaaaaaraaaaashiiiii!" said Sakura sounding like the announcer from DBZ. "Congratulations, you have won 224 pounds of free dango from Konoha's Dango shop!"

"WHAT?! R-REALLY!" Anko squealed. "Wait, this isn't a prank is it?"

"Of course not, Miss Mitarashi…however if you want us to give it to someone else who loves dango…"

"NO! No! I-I'll take it!" Anko said quickly with her love of dango blocking her ninja skills from furthering her questioning of the announcer type "man".

"Okay, but you can only collect them tomorrow after lunch time." said Sakura.

"Okay, sure…I can wait!" she hung up the phone and then began dancing.

"My turn!" Naruto picked up the phone dialed the dango shop.

"Hello?" said an old man from the other side of the receiver.

"Yes, this is Anko." said Naruto after turning into Anko.

"Oh crap, it's that Anko chick again…" the man said turning away from the phone.

"She just came here an hour ago. TWICE!" said a young man somewhere in the room with the old man. "How much can that bitch eat?!"

"I really don't know…" said the old man shaking his head. "How can I help you?"

"I want 224 pounds of dango!" said "Anko".

"Got it…son, we've got an order for…WAIT WHAT!?" the man said amazed.

"You heard me! I've got a cravin' for dango and I need it by lunch time tomorrow!"

"O-okay, if you say so…the total will be $1,989." said the old man.

"Got it! I'll get it to you tomorrow!"

"Okay…bye." they hung up the phone.

"Anko's gonna get the surprise of a lifetime come lunch!" giggled Naruto.

"Okay, so who do you wanna prank now?" asked Sakura. "I can't think of anyone who we can prank now."

"How about Ibiki?" Naruto grinned.

"I-Ibki?!" Sakura looked at her teammate as if he was crazy.

"You're right. He's too advanced." he rubbed his chin. "How about…"

Suddenly someone knocked on the door and Naruto went over to answer it. It was Kiba. "Hey Ki…"

"Sakura!" Kiba walked right past him. The two looked at each other and back at the young man.

"Hey, Kiba. What's up?" said Sakura.

"Your friend said that I said I slept with her and…" Kiba then went on to telling her about what they already knew. "I don't even like her! Why would I call her and tell her dad that anyway!? I don't even have her number!"

"Maybe it was someone pranking her." suggested Naruto.

"I told her that, but she slapped me and told me that her dad said it sounded just like me!" Kiba spat on the ground. "Sakura tell your nasty ass friend that I never called her and if she ever comes over to my house telling those lies and threatens me, I'll have Akamaru piss on her face!"

Kiba didn't wait for an answer and walked off. Sakura looked at Naruto and shrugged as the blonde ninja shut the door. "Well that was interesting…"

"Yeah…"

"We should check up on Hinata and Lee."

"Why?"

"Because of what happened yesterday, dummy!" pointed out Sakura shaking her head.

"Oh yeah! I completely forgot! Let's see if we can catch one of them."

"Hm…Bushy Brows isn't home." said Naruto peeking through Lee's window.

"Let's see if he's at Hinata's then." said Sakura walking off. Naruto followed her while thinking of some more people they could prank. When they finally got there, Hanabi, Hinata's little sister was coming out. "Hey there."

"Can I help you?" she asked raising a brow at the two.

"I'm Haruno Sakura and this is Uzumaki Naruto." said Sakura bowing. "We're looking for Hinata."

"My sister?" She looked uncomfortable when they nodded.

"Is something wrong?"

"Uh…well yeah. She's really upset." she explained. "Her boyfriend cheated on her and she's up in her room crying."

"Shit…" Naruto mumbled feeling really bad.

"Can we see her?"

"I don't think that's a good idea. My cousin, Neji, is getting yelled at and you really don't wanna be in there right now."

"Why's he getting yelled at?"

"Because he got some girl pregnant and now he's denying it. It's bad enough that Hinata's already pregnant and won't say who the dad it." Hanabi said. "Anyway it's really ugly. You might wanna come back tomorrow. I'll tell Hinata you guys wanted to see her."

"Thanks." Sakura and Naruto watched as Hanabi walked off.

"Now I feel really bad." Naruto sighed. "I didn't know she was pregnant!"

"Me either. She doesn't look it, but she must be early in it." Sakura said thinking of all the times she had seen the Hyuuga. "Well what now?"

"I don't…"

"Sakura!" Ino was waving at her friend as she walked out of a store.

"Hey Ino!" Sakura said walking towards her friends. "What's up?"

"My dad's a jerk!" Ino crossed her arms. "HE GROUNDED ME!"

"For whatever happened yesterday?" asked Naruto.

"YEAH! Kiba wouldn't own up to it though! I fucking hate him for this."

"Maybe he wasn't really the one doing it." suggested Naruto.

"Prove it then!" Ino growled.

He closed his mouth when Sakura stepped on his foot. Ino just sighed. "Well I'd better get going then. I'm only allowed to go to work and work at the hospital and with Tsunade-sama…I hope he falls down the stairs and breaks his old back…stupid ass old man!"

"You don't mean that Ino!" said Sakura.

"I DO! I wish I didn't have a dad sometimes…dads are so stupid…I mean mine is anyway…" She said adding that last part rather quickly when she remembered that Naruto didn't have one. "See you two later."

"She doesn't mean that about her dad." said Sakura.

"She's gonna be looking pretty ugly when he does die." suddenly Naruto got an idea. "Sakura, let's go back to my house!"

"Why?"

"I have a plan! Come on!"

Back at Naruto's place, Naruto told Sakura his genius plan to call Ino ugly. He planned on calling her and telling her that she had won an ugly contest, but before that occurred, they would give a gift certificate for a makeover to fix her face. Sakura giggled. "Let's do it!"

Naruto and Sakura quickly went to work on a certificate. It looked pretty realistic and Sakura went to Ino's house and snuck it inside of their mailbox while Naruto was the look out. Once they were done, they headed back. Naruto dialed Ino's parents' flower shop number and waited. Ino answered. "What?"

"Is this Yamanaka Ino?"

"Yes."

"Coooooongraaaaduuuulaaaations, Yaaaaaaamaaaaaakaaaaaa!" said Naruto in an announcer type voice. "You have just won a beauty certificate from our ugly contest!"

"A BEAUTY CONTEST!? OH I CAN'T WAIT TO…wait…UGLY CONTEST!?"

"YES! You are the ugliest girl in Konoha with the ugliest personality!" Naruto informed her.

"UGLY CONTEST?! WHO SAID…WHO VOTED…I AM NOT UGLY!"

"Then how come you won it then?" said Naruto grinning.

"No…you're just pranking me!"

"Check your mail box then."

"Fine! I will! Wait just a moment!" Ino left the store and came back in record time. "YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS! WHEN WAS THIS POLL STARTED!?"

"We can't disclose that." said Naruto trying not to laugh. "Enjoy getting that ugly face fixed!"

Naruto hung up and the teens laughed. Then Sakura dialed Yamato's number. Luckily he answered. "Yamato here."

"Hey Yamato." said Sakura imitating Kakashi's voice.

"Oh hey, Kakashi-senpai." said Yamato. "Did you want something?"

"Yeah, I'm going to need you to get me something from the book store." said Sakura. "Don't worry. I'll pay you back later."

"Okay. What do you need?"

"I need you to pick me up a playboy magazine."

"Playboy?" said Yamato confused.

"Yeah, but don't let Jiraiya know. He'll get upset if he knew I got one."

"Sure, but what's a playboy?"

"Just ask the guy or gal at the counter." said Sakura trying not to laugh.

"Okay…playboy got it." said Yamato unfazed by the question and they hung up the phone.

"Let's go see if he brought it." giggled Naruto. Sakura nodded and headed off to the bookstore. Sure enough, Yamato was buying the magazines and looking ashamed.

"Hey, Yamato!" said Naruto.

"Hey you two…" he sighed. "Here, take this to that pervert, Kakashi!"

"What's in here?" asked Naruto grabbing the bag that Yamato was handing to him as if it had a diaper in it.

"He wanted me to pick him up some smut." growled Yamato looking very red. "That pervert's going to get it. I don't care if he is my senior. He can buy his own perverted material. Don't tell anyone you saw me doing this."

"We won't!" reassured the two.

"Good. Naruto, Jiriaya mentioned that he wanted to train with you today."

"Aw what?!"

"I'll see you later, Naruto and Sakura."

"Bye!" Once he had walked away, Naruto sighed. "Why today of all days?"

"It's okay, Naruto. We can meet up later." assured Sakura patting his shoulder. "Besides, while you're training and I'm at the hospital, we can think of who to prank!"

"Yeah! I didn't think of that!" Naruto high fived his team mate. As the two parted, Naruto hoped that maybe he and Sakura's relationship would go to the next level while pranking. Just as he was half way to meeting Jiriaya, he spotted Hinata on a bench. "Hey Hinata!"

"N-naruto-kun! H-hello!" She rubbed her eyes.

"Are you alright?"

"N-no! Lee-chan…he…he cheated on me…and with me being pregnant makes it even harder." she sobbed. "I thought he loved me…"

"Listen about Lee…"

"What him?" She showed a rare look of anger. "Is he hanging around with another girl now!?"

"I…I…IT WAS ME!" Naruto shouted feeling really guilty as he remembered what Hanabi said as well as seeing the pain and hurt in her eyes. He began to quickly explain himself.

"Huh…wait…you…slept with Lee and left underwear at his house?" Hinata face was between anger and confusion.

"No…well…Lee likes wearing panties because I told him they felt good." He half lied. "I was only pranking you and I didn't know you two were dating!"

"How do I know you're not lying?" she said suspiciously.

"Because I'm not." said Naruto in the voice he used to prank Hinata. Her eyes got big. Hinata looked relieved, but then she smacked him across the face. "Ow! What was…"

"You…you…how could you?" Hinata said rather furiously. "Y-you ruined my relationship and Lee-chan probably hates me now!"

"Don't worry, he doesn't! He…" before he could say anymore, she had run off. "Hey! Where are you going?!"

She ignored him and continued to run off. He shrugged and walked off to where he was heading before he saw her. That could have been worse. If Neji or Hanabi or her dad or even all of them were there, his ass would literally be no more. Hopefully the reason why she wasn't kicking his ass was because she was pregnant.


	5. Temari, Kabuto, Ibiki

Naruto was bored beyond belief. Training got cancelled after some famous guy wanted to talk to Jiriaya. Something about a movie about his Icha Icha Paradise books. Naruto was going to get Sakura for some more prank calls, but then remembered that she was at the hospital. She would most likely kick his butt if he disturbed her even if it was for some more prank calling. Now he had to do it himself. Now who would suffer from prank calls today? Suddenly he got an idea.

He dialed Gaara's office number and waited. "Hello, this the Kazekage's office. This is Temari speaking. How may I help you?"

"You can start by sucking my dick." said Naruto in similar to Shikamaru's voice.

"Excuse me?!" she growled. "Who the heck is this?!"

"You know who this is, bitch." said Naruto giggling.

"Shikamaru, is this really you?"

"Stop pretending you don't know who this is, dipshit."

"Listen up you lazy son of a…"

"How's that sexy brother of yours doing? You know the one with the brown hair."

"S-sexy?!"

"Yeah. Put that tasty piece of ass on the phone. I heard he was really good at phone sex."

"You…you…you leave my brother alone!"

"Listen up, Miss Man-hands. Need I remind you that you're only jealous because Kankuro gets more booty than you ever will. The only reason why Tenten's even fucking you is because you beat her a long time ago."

"I'M NOT A LES…"

"Temari, what are you doing?" it was Gaara.

"Shikamaru's on the phone saying stupid shi…"

"HEY! WHERE'S THAT SEXY BROTHER KANKURO AT!? DON'T TELL ME HE'S TOO BUSY FUCKNG GAARA OR HIS PUPPETS FOR SOME OF HIS FAMOUS PHONE SEX!"

"Let me talk to him." before Gaara even got on the phone, Naruto hung up. Now who was next? He decided to call Orochimaru. Yes Naruto had the man's number…well at least he hoped he did. A couple of months back he found a number on the wall of a public restroom that was supposed to be Orochimaru's number. Who had put it there and why, he didn't know.

After dialing it, he waited until he heard a very familiar voice. "Sound village. Kabuto speaking."

"Kabuto, what are you doing giving my number out!" said Naruto in a poor imitation of Orochimaru's voice. However Kabuto thought it was him.

"I didn't give out your number except to…"

"OH! So you did give out my number then!"

"Yes, but it was to…"

"Well now because of you, my number is written all over the Konoha restroom in permanent marker! THEY'RE GOING TO TRACK US DOWN BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"Yes, but I…"

"YOU'RE FIRED!"

"W-what?"

"YOU HEARD ME! PACK YOUR SHIT AND LEAVE!" Naruto yelled trying not to laugh. "I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU GO! IF I EVER SEE YOU ON THE BASE AGAIN, I'LL TAKE YOUR LIFE AND YOUR BODY! NOW GET OFF MY DAMN PHONE AND BEAT IT!"

Once he hung up the phone, Naruto burst out laughing like a wild beast on steroids. Now who next? The only person he could think of was Ibiki. Did he have the skill to pull off a prank on him? THE top dog dog?! He had to try.

He nervously dialed the man's number and waited. All he got was his answering machine. Maybe he was at work. He dialed the number to his job place and waited. Someone answered. "Konoha Torture and Interrogation Force. How may I help you?"

"This is Anko. I need to speak to Ibiki right now!" he said urgently.

"Hold on." the guy on the phone went over to Ibiki who was in the middle of an interrogation. "Ibiki, Anko's on the phone."

He sighed. "What does that woman want now? Tell her I'm busy and I don't have time for…"

"She said it's really important. She sounded like she was in danger or something. The numbers blocked off too and I don't know what it means. Could be trouble."

"Fine. Stay here with the prisoner." he then went into the room with the telephone. "What?"

"Ibiki! Ibiki! Thank goodness you're here!" Naruto said trying to make it sound like he was in pain.

"What's wrong?"

"It's terrible! Just terrible!" he gasped. "Orochimaru…"

He then started crumpling up a bag of chips. "What about Orochimaru?"

"He…" Naruto started gestured for his shadow clones to start making all kinds of fuss in the background. "Oh kami-sama! They're here!"

"Anko! Are you alright?"

"I will be when I…" he got quiet, trying to hold in the laughter.

"When you…"

"Sh…" the clones ran all over the room for the effect of someone running in the room. The clones made more noises and then left the room. He was quiet for a few minutes. "Okay, I think they're gone now."

"Anko, what the heck is going on? Where are you?"

"I'm…aaaaaaaaaah! AH! LET GO OF ME! EEEEEEAHAHAIASHAGH! LET GO! LET GO YOU FUC…AH!" Naruto and the clones wrestled. Ibiki was going more and more tense by the minute.

"ANKO! ANKO ARE YOU STILL THERE?!"

"Oh she's here alright…eheheheheh!" said Naruto in his stupid imitation of Orochimaru.

"Orochimaru, what have you done to her?"

"Oh you'll find out soon enough…AFTER YOU FIND HER CORPSE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA…*cough* *cough*!" Doing the laugh plus his voice really did a number on his throat.

"You evil bastard!"

"If you wish to save her, I'll tell you how…are you listening?"

"Yes."

"Are you really?"

"Are you?"

"Yes."

"Listening?"

"Yes."

"Listening?"

"Yes!"

"ARE YOU LISTEN YOU MOTHER FUCKER?!"

"JUST GET ON WITH IT!"

"Well here's the first clue…" Naruto took a loud deep breath and then yelled. "TAKE A GOOD LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND TRY NOT TO BREAK IT! I'M SURPRISED YOU CAN WALK ANYWHERE WITH THAT UGLY ASS FACE YOU'VE GOT! AS UGLY AS YOU ARE, I'M SURPRISED PEOPLE DON'T DROP DEAD WHEN THEY SEE YOU! WHY THE HECK ARE YOU BALD?! IT'S BRIGHTER THAN MY FUTURE! YO MAMA SO FAT,WHEN SHE GETS IN THE OCEAN THE WHALES COME UP AND SING, 'WE ARE FAMILY, EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE FATTER THAN ME! YOU SMELL SO BAD EVEN A SKUNK WOULDN'T WANNA BE AROUND YOU! YOU'RE SO STUPID, WHEN YOU WORKED AT THE M&M FACTORY, YOU GOT FIRED FOR THROWING AWAY ALL THE W'S!"

"WHAT?!"

"Good-bye." Naruto hung up the phone. On the other end Ibiki was wondering what just happened while the rest of the force just looked on wondering the same.

"Um…so I'm getting that Anko is kidnapped and we've gotta go find her." said one person.

"We could trace it back if we tried." said another.

"I suppose so." said Ibiki sighing.

Naruto was in the middle of dialing Choji's number when his phone started ringing. He answered it. "Hello?"

"Naruto?" Naruto nearly shat himself. How the hell did they trace him?! IT WAS ON PRIVATE FOR PETE'S SAKE! He wished he would have looked up if people could track your phone if the number was on private.

"Hey Ibiki! What's going on? Can you please hurry up and tell what you want? Someone broke into my house." Naruto said quickly.

"Really. Hm. Naruto listen up. Anko was kidnapped in your house and we're coming over to inverstigate."

'NO! NO! NO! NO!' Naruto started crying. "Oh! That's bad! Well I'll see you then."

Summoning his clones, he told them to mess up the place. They went to work while Naruto snuck into Anko's house and looked for anything with her hair on it as well as he clothes. He ripped pieces off and placed them under his bed (after removing certain things from under there). He placed a few hairs in a few places and he was done just in time for Ibiki and his team to come in.

Every now and then he felt like peeing, shitting, and vomiting on himself as they went around the house. After a while they left after finding nothing useful. They had left without a trace in their heads, but only Naruto knew the truth. After today's events, he laid down and slept for a long time. Luck was his side today, but probably not tomorrow.


End file.
